4/06/2010

Grieving...

*emo-post*

DEFINITION OF GRIEF:
The emotional depiction of
great loss accompanied by a sense of
hopelessness,
anguish,
denial,
anger and
confusion.



It was a bad day for me today.
I found my Cameron 'baby' gone.
Gone from where I had last seen it just after lunch.

I'd just gone into my room to
shower with Alicia and nurse her to sleep.
When I came out,
it was gone.

My mil had thrown it away - without asking. :(
Again.

I was terribly upset because I had meant to give my Cameron 'baby' a proper 'funeral' and keep the pot in remembrance of it.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to it...

if you've had a pet, you'd know how terrible it feels to have someone throw away your pet's carcass
without informing you,
without having you take a last look at it,
without
you around.

Now I only have this photo of my Cameron 'baby' to remember it (fortunately I took a picture yesterday!)...




It's a pity we didn't take a photo of it when it was flourishing so beautifully.
We used to be so happy to note that it'd grown taller, had more sprouts etc. but somehow we didn't take a photo of it then... perhaps we didn't think it'd leave us so soon... :(

Needless to say, I immediately called my hubby but he was unable to take my call and of course that made it all the worse for me. By the time he called back, I was ironing the clothes with a very heavy heart but upon hearing his voice asking me what happened, I just broke down again and cried.

He offered to buy me a new plant,
and I'd get to choose what I want.

Although that can't make things better or
bring back my Cameron 'baby',
I'd say that probably is the next best thing he can do to make me feel better.

So I told him since my birthday's approaching,
I'd like to have a new plant for my birthday present then -
he'd offered to buy me a DSLR but I think that'd be under-utilised so I feel a new plant would suit me better though it can't take the place of our Cameron 'baby'.

I guess I have to slowly move towards the process of acceptance,
knowing that no amount of grieving will bring my cactus back to life and
blaming my mil for throwing it away won't make me feel better because I know
it is gone.

Gone.

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