The frustrations of taking care of my ill baby

I just need to vent my frustrations a little. My darling has been fussing since Tuesday night. For two nights in a row, she cried and refused to (and couldn't) sleep properly. On the first night, we thought we heard a little bit of phelgm but other than that, she was perfectly well. I had to nurse her almost every hour just so that she would calm down and rest for awhile. She was still alright on Wednesday morning but when night came and it was time for bed, she cried and fussed again. Thursday morning, the phelgm got worse and I detected a slight cough so I brought her to the doctor. He said she's got flu symptoms but there was no fever and her throat was alright (thank God!). He prescribed three types of medicine: one for her cough, one for phelgm and the last one to clear her airway. That afternoon after she took her medicine, she nursed to sleep and slept for five hours straight. I thought she was feeling better and would be able to sleep better at night but she refused to sleep till it was almost 4am. I'm so very tired because I can't seem to rest in the day even when she's taking her nap. I can't get to sleep even though I'm so wasted and groggy. I hate that feeling! It reminds me of my confinement month when I was practically a walking zombie.

Finally, I got some proper rest last night and am more sane today because she could sleep properly from 2am till 9am this morning. Oh, but we were rudely awoken at 4am because she fell off our bed (she was sharing our bed and was sleeping between us - we usually let her share our bed when she's ill). She rolled off the foot of the bed (we don't really know how) but we think it was a pretty bad knock because it was really a very loud thud. Poor darling! After that, we placed her back into her cot for her own safety - she cried for awhile but fell asleep on her own and we had our much needed sleep till 9+am today.

It's not just the lack of sleep that gets to me whenever she's sick. Her lack of appetite worries me too because I hate to see her lose weight (because she takes so long to put on weight)! Recently she's put on weight because she's been eating better and just when we were so happy about it, she had to fall ill. Obviously, her appetite's bad because of the flu and there's nothing we can do about it. I even tried to give her Pediasure to make up for the 'lost' meal yesterday when she hardly ate her dinner! She drank 50ml and refused the rest. Today I tried again when she refused lunch but she tasted it and decided that she'd give it a pass. It's the first time I've given her formula milk since she was 1 month old. Maybe she's just not used to the taste of other types of milk other than mine (which I'm not sure if it's a good thing because I had been hoping that she'd at least accept Pediasure so that we could feed her a bit of that when she decides to be fussy and skips her meals, even on normal days). Anyway, the only things she's agreed to eat today and last night are apple and muesli muffins (which I just baked yesterday) and Gerber stars. And fortunately, she still wants my breast milk...

An ill, fussy and crying baby really tests the limits of one's patience... and sanity. Fortunately, I have my hubby to go through this with me... if not, I might be mad by now...